The Sweet Up and Down

I've decided to stop posting in my LiveJournal because there's really not much for me to talk about anymore. I used LJ to rant and complain about life but my life is actually pretty good right now so I feel the need to get things off my chest is over. At least for right now.

New stuff before ending this thing: I got my mom all moved in to her new place. It was a huge pain in the ass because I almost had to do it all by myself. Luckily my aunts helped so we were able to get a lot of stuff and actually clean the old place. Her new place isn't exactly in the best area of Lawrence but it's what she can afford. Meanwhile, me and Audrey are living pretty good together and Cameran seems to be enjoying being cared for by Audrey. Audrey and I have also set a date for the wedding. October 24, 2009 and we plan on having it at the Stony Point Banquet Hall just south of Lawrence in the Vinland Valley.

Crystal had her baby on the 17th. Shawn Allan (or some variation of the spelling). It's good to know she now has her own child to take care of that she can ruin and turn into a miniature version of herself that's no relation to me. Yay!

I'm also really getting into my website, www.tauycreek.com, which I actually post on a regular basis and do my Born Loser and comic strip mocking, some writing, news and anything else I find on the Internet and want to show. For next week, I plan on trying to find a lot of Halloween stuff to post so if you want you can find me over there. No subscription or account necessary.

Until next time, I remain...
~Brian

I beat and surpassed my previous record of having sex in a 24-hour period. The new record: 5. Six times if you go for a 36-hour period. It was all just amazing, including some things I'll tell you about when you're older.

This weekend seemed busy even though it really wasn't. Audrey and I made pizza Saturday morning when I got to Topeka after work, then we woke up early the next morning to eat breakfast at Perkins which was delicious even though they forgot to give us silverware which I thought was very odd. Afterward, we looked around Best Buy just to kill time then went back to her place for awhile and watched "Little Miss Sunshine" before we went out to a fancy restaurant called The Brick Oven which was so damn delicious I can't even describe it.

After dinner, we got some ice cream and went back home. We watched "Sonny", a movie directed by Nicolas Cage. We would've watched "Saturday Night Live" but the Olympics were on. Then we started watching "Juno" but Audrey got tired and went to sleep, I stayed up to finish the movie then went to bed with her. We woke up a little later this morning to grab some Mexican food at Tacos El Sol, ate and watched some of "The Office". I, of course, didn't want to leave but I had to go pay rent, mow, pick up Cameran and do some slight yard work.

It was a good weekend, one of the best in a while. On a side note, I need boxes. If you know anyone who has good boxes for moving, let me know. I'll take them off their hands.

Until next time, I remain...
~Brian

2008 has shaped up to be a really good year. After the massive disappointment 2007 came to be, I needed a good year. First, I met Audrey. I had originally intended to just test the waters with her, make sure I could sustain a relationship, get back into the flow of dating but no real attachment. I ended up falling in love with her and proposed to her back in June. We're moving in together on September 1st, finally being together all the time in Lawrence. Audrey is really the only major change in my life and I am so happy to be with her. She is the first girlfriend I have ever had where there is not a Jason, Matt or Dan also vying for her affection. I think I finally know happiness in relation to the person I'm dating and I could not be happier.

Elsewhere, I'm making it a goal to get two stories written every month. Hopefully I can follow through with it because I've been stuck on the same two stories (The Kings of Framingham and Seven) since about May or so and I have all this other stuff that I want to start getting down. But as for my other things such as my comic strip, it's slowly becoming more popular and I am actually starting to get more views on that than on my MySpace. But MySpace tends to be a huge disappointment anyway especially since I haven't gotten a message/comment/friend request in months. The same happens with my Facebook but at least other stuff happens on Facebook...MySpace just sits there.

Postings here my get even more scarce as I fill extra time I have with packing and getting ready to move but hopefully around moving day I'll let you all in on how that's going and maybe get some picture of my new abode.

Until next time, I remain...
~Brian

For the last--over a month--I've been living in Topeka with my fiancee Audrey. I've never really liked Topeka because for a capital city it seems really dirty and crime-ridden (and I'm not talking the politicians). Well, it's true. There's been like seven murders in seven months in Topeka and probably other stuff that I don't really keep tabs on because I don't want it to scare me. Audrey lives in a really decent neighborhood so I didn't fear for my life while I was there but we're anxious to move in together here in Lawrence. While I was in Topeka, I missed Lawrence a lot because I know Lawrence and it knows me. Although what canceled out my pseudo-hatred of Topeka was being with Audrey constantly. I was able however to be a part of the crime statistic in Topeka as my car was vandalized. When I went to get my tags renewed I discovered that someone had ripped off a quarter of my license plate. All they got was the last number but they also got the month and year on the plate and badly damaged the rest of the plate. I was mad because I loved that plate and I don't like the new ones Kansas has.

The commute to work in Lawrence from Topeka was a pain on my gas tank especially when gas prices hovered around $4.00 earlier in the summer. I didn't mind the driving because I like to drive but I didn't like leaving at 2:30 and the drive back after work was excrutiating because I just wanted to get back home to Audrey. But that's over now and within the next month, Audrey and I should be living together. While in Topeka I was pretty much incommunicado because while Audrey did have Internet, I rarely used it and it didn't work with my computer (although it could've). I used her computer mainly for email and social network checking but not much else. I tried updating my Born Loser blog but in late July I kind of let that go. My online writing became scarce and I worried that I would have trouble getting back into the groove of blogging.

I was right. I was able to figure out what to do with my new website but wasn't able to post anything because it's based on writing and other things I could really only do at home. Hopefully I can start getting it updated and get some people reading it like people do my Born Loser blog (which is moving over to my new website on August 15th). I finally feel I can start writing on it now so maybe writing this entry will get the juices flowing.

In other news, Crystal and I have finally worked out an agreement on custody for Cameran. We got it all done Tuesday morning and hopefully a judge will sign the parenting plan before the end of the week. Basically it says, I am the custodial parent, she gets him every other weekend during the school year, Christmas, Mother's Day and alternating birthdays and Spring Breaks. Plus June and July. I get him during the school year, Thanksgiving, Father's Day, one weekend of my choice in July and alternating birthdays and Spring Break. We split winter break and any thing else we have talk over and agree upon. There were also other things in there saying that both parents have to know where Cameran is at all times. Hopefully this will make everything easier in the long run especially when Audrey is permanently in the picture.

Until next time, I remain...
~Brian

The Pope was in Lawrence for some reason that wasn’t clear to me and was staying at the Eldridge and I was working for the catering company handling the huge dinner the Pope was throwing at the hotel. The dinner went really well and actually being able to see the Pope that close up was really cool and everyone had a really good time. I even got reacquainted with several people I haven’t seen in a while and finally got closure from a couple girls.

This dream was the longest and most convoluted dream I’ve ever had and the best thing was that I was able to control it. Just about everyone I’ve ever met was in the dream from old school friends, to former co-workers to acquaintances. It started out as your typical work dream. I was working catering for Baker as I was wont to do and it was going great. The food was delicious and the other people working the event were all having fun without being overly inappropriate. After the dinner, the Pope spoke which seemed to take a while but I was off talking with friends and ran into a couple of girls from my past who I never got definitive closure from.

I ran into Kate who I had a crush on when I worked overnights at Pearson. I attempted to stay in touch with her but failed in my endeavor but recently ran into her again thanks to Facebook (which I am using a lot more than MySpace these days). We talked and just got updated on what’s been going on in our lives. Then I ran into Heather. We talked, but mainly argued about who was the wrong one in our relationship. I eventually had enough and told her that I had moved on and found someone who loves me and who does love only me. Plus I don’t have to vie for her affections (unless you count her dogs but 9 times out of 10, I win) so I feel I finally got my closure in that area and the best thing was that I didn’t have to see her in person.

After getting my closure, I ran into a couple more old friends who I haven’t spoke with in a while and had a couple of drinks with a couple others. Then it got to be that time when the Pope was done speaking and we had to clean up the food tables. After that was done, I was ready to head home and get back to Audrey. I said good-bye to everyone and left the hotel, waking up.

So I feel that this dream is a springboard to better things. On Monday I start a new job and get away from Affinitas, I plan on proposing to Audrey sometime during the summer (I know when but I want it to be a surprise) and we should be moving in together roughly around September. I was worried that 2008 would end up just being an extension of 2007 and while it seemed to start out that way, 2008 has gotten so much better. It’s been the best year I’ve had in a long time. Here’s hoping it stays that way.

Until next time, I remain…
~Brian

I originally wrote this in January but it was in a private post. I've decided to bring it out into the public because after some recent developments, the point of this post has been even more proven and I still don't regret a thing.

I believe in the concept of a soul mate. Someone who knows and understands you as much, or more, as you. Two people who have an unbreakable bond of love and trust toward each other. I've often wondered who my soul mate was and figured I obviously hadn't met them considering everyone I've ever met in my life has inexplicably vacated my life. But I finally sat down and figured it out and the answer came as a surprise to me. After Heather, I went to the two people who I always go to: my best friend Randy and my cousin, Dustin. Essentially what I got from them was "I never liked her. Girls lie. Girls cheat. She wasn't right for you. " Still that doesn't account for the fact that I wanted to marry her and loved her with all my heart. It wasn't until I talked with an old girlfriend, Cassandra, that everything was put into perspective. The things she said actually made sense and helped me figure out what possibly happened in the relationship. I'm still not all right with how everything went down but taking what Cassandra said is making everything seem much brighter.

I met Cassandra when I still worked days at Pearson for 1-800-Medicare. It was November I believe and I saw her walking down the aisle toward me and everything on her just moved in perfect rhythm. It was like in movies and TV shows where the girl just walks slow and there's a hazy aura surrounding her while her hair whips back and forth. From the moment I saw her I just knew I had to have her. I had to sleep with her. We struck up a friendship and reverted back to our high school days and passed notes to each other because we didn't want other people to know what we were talking about. I still have all those notes in a lockbox and actually made a book of them for her for Valentine's Day. We actually grew closer which was dangerous for both of us considering she was living with her boyfriend at the time.

When we finally did sleep together, we both knew it was wrong but I don't think we regretted it because we seemed to compliment each other nicely. I fell in love with her and I know she fell in love with me. It killed me being away from her and basically having to share her. I wouldn't recommend that to anyone for any reason. We eventually parted ways and she stuck it out with her boyfriend, moved near Leavenworth and got married back in August of 2006. From what I can tell they are happy and I can actually take a little bit of that happiness for myself because I think it was being with me that made Cassandra realize how much she truly loved her boyfriend and I had found my soul mate.

Cassandra and I are more alike than I had ever thought about while we were dating and she was truly my first "adult" relationship. I am so glad I know her, worked with her, continue to talk with her on occasion and that we were able to express our love to each other even if it was "wrong" and short lived. She's the only girlfriend I've forgiven for being "like all the others". She was different. Because of her advice I was able to move on and now I'm dating Audrey who I am talking about marriage to. This relationship is the least stressful of all of my relationships, Audrey is loving and caring and I know she only loves me.

Cassandra is also only one of three people who wished me a happy birthday. While I don't broadcast my birthday like on MySpace or Facebook or at all, those who know it should still wish me one. No one in my family did. Cassandra remembered and that makes me smile.

Until next time, I remain...
~Brian

Just a warning that I am going to be talking about relationships so if you don't want to read it then just ignore this and wait until tomorrow when I plan to write something unrelated to relationships.

I make the claim that the best words in the English language are 'scrotum' and 'pedophile.' I'm not really sure why I think that but I've always maintained it and to me the strongest word is, and always has been, love. It is the most powerful word in any language. It can move mountains and brighten the darkest sky. I've always been a hopeless romantic and have been looking for the right woman since I was 16. Last year I had though I found her but by the time the year was over I realized what a major mistake it was and I think I have gotten over her rather cleanly and quickly.

On February 1st, I met someone new. I violated one of my cardinal rules and approached her online. I made the rule of not asking out girls online because...well, I don't really have a reason. I just made the rule. Nearly two months later, Audrey and I said 'I love you' to each other. That brings up a good point. When is the right time to tell someone that you love them? In my experience, a minimum of roughly three months was used. Then, after the three words were uttered the girl would either realize she didn't truly love me or realize she loves someone else more than me. I try to gauge the girl's response and make sure they are right beside me on the boat before I let go with the L-bomb. I've been fortunate that I have fallen in love with girls who did love me back so the love I have given was not a complete waste.

I, in all honesty, believe that Audrey is the one I'm supposed to be with. It might be too early in the relationship but we took this chance after we both had failed previous relationships that ironically ended almost the same time. She lives in Topeka but I, and her, have tried to spend as much time as possible together. I can feel from the way she looks at me and holds me that she genuinely loves me and only me. I'm not competing against anyone else and it makes me love her even more. When Audrey says 'I love you' I know she is talking to me. It shouldn't be a chore to determine who you're saying 'I love you' to. Years of being hurt in that area have kind of jaded me but no matter what happens I will always enjoy hearing those words.

Audrey and I have talked a lot about our future together even though we both know it is probably too early to discuss things like that. The thing is, is that it feels right. I actually feel as if I'm truly ready to make the many leaps with this woman. She even owns dogs and I don't care about that. And dogs are usually a relationship killer for me. I don't like dogs. I have my reasons for that but I'll save them for some other time. The point is that it's early in mine and Audrey's relationship but I feel like we've been together for a year or more and I mean that in the best way possible. I'm scared because I've been in this boat before and have gotten hurt mainly because the girl was just a bitch and didn't care about my feelings. I'm well-assured that won't happen again because I think Audrey truly wants to marry me. And only me.

In closing, while I do feel as if it's too early to say 'I love you', I do really love Audrey. Whether this relationship work out remains to be seen and we really won't know until we're dead.

Until next time, I remain...
~Brian

I subscribe to an email blog from this girl in California. She mainly talks about sex and how people constantly make her mad. Lately however she has been rambling on about her new boyfriend and how life is actually getting better and how amazing he is. This isn't the same girl to whose blog I subscribed to. While I don't mind that she's more happy and her blogs aren't full of the dark side of life, the relationship stuff is really starting to annoy me and made me wonder why anyone would want to read endless diatribes of a relationship that they are not a part of. Once in a while is fine but all the time?

Then I realized that I used to do that. Not an entry would go by on MySpace that I didn't talk about my relationship. Sure I may have talked about something else too but then I would segue into relationship chatter. Maybe it was the novelty of me actually having a girlfriend who I loved and loved me back or maybe it was kind of bragging rights or, God forbid, the relationship was the only thing worth talking about. For whatever reason, the relationship was all I talked about. To anyone I bored with my endless yammering I apologize and I promise I will limit any relationship to once a month or less. I don't like reading it anymore than you do.

On that note, currently I am in a relationship but we've agreed to take it slow based on how past relationships have treated us. However, Saturday I get to meet her family but I'd visit Satan himself for free food. So still I apologize for any annoyance I may have caused you.

Until next time, I remain...
~Brian

I had a screenplay written. I loved my screenplay. It was beautiful mix of comedy and friendship. It was a mix between Clerks, Road Trip and Jeepers Creepers. The first part of the movie took place in a convenience store and just dealt with the employees lament on life and their relationships. It sets up that these four friends are going to investigate a haunted cemetery and the old caretaker's house (a play on mine and Randy's explorations in Stull and at the Devil House). The second part was a road trip with the four characters enclosed in a car and ranting about how bad music is anymore, discussing their relationships and wondering why the four of them are friends. The third part was at the cemetery (complete with old church) and the old house. The scenes were just the friends traipsing around the cemetery, the church and the house and finding nothing, they just give up and leave. The story ends with the main characters at work the next day, barely able to stay awake because they were out all night ghost-hunting.

I had originally planned for a five movie storyline in the vein of Kevin Smith movies. The first was oddly close to what would become my novel. The second movie was almost like the one above only was just about the store and the cemetery. The third focused on a character named Ben on what would become his last night alive. The fourth would actually become a complex interwoven novel I'm starting work on and the fifth movie would wrap up everyone's hanging storylines. From what I recall, the fifth movie was on page 190 and still not finished when I shredded it. The plotlines and characters from these screenplays I plan on using for what I want to use as my last novel (yes, I have them planned out).

So what happened to this screenplay? I lost it. Well, I know who it's with but I don't know where she has it. I loaned it to Heather to read, actually thinking she would and she never gave it back before she moved to Massachusetts. When she actually went back to talking to me in late November I thought about asking her but she would probably say it's in a box at her parent's house in Iola so I guess I'm going to have to rewrite it. On the plus side, when/if Randy gets back here he can help me rewrite it with new characters and more development of their universe.

So I guess the point of this is that if anyone sees a movie being made called "Tank N Tummy" starring characters named Zeke and Harry and it takes place at a convenience store, cemetery, deteriorating church and an old house then that's directly stolen from my screenplay which I wrote in 2005 and 2006 in a green Mead notebook, college-ruled with 120 pages.

And the moral of this is Don't loan stuff you worked hard on to people you are in a relationship with. Ever! Certain exceptions apply, but not many.

Until next time, I remain...
~Brian

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I haven't had many girlfriends but the few I've had have taught me that nearly all women cheat, lie and are basically crazy.  I know what went wrong in nearly all the cases but still I torture myself and go for another girl who'll either cheat or lie and is basically crazy.  I still want to find the one girl I want to spend the rest of my life with but after being screwed over so much I found other things to be more important, like, keeping my toenails even and continuing my own personal quest to get Grey's Anatomy off the air.

X. Avoid Girls With Injuries
I've never dated a seriously injured girl--like one in a wheelchair--but it is on my list.  I did date a girl with a back injury and while she was nice and a decent girlfriend but her injury became too much of a focus during the relationship.  It kind of became a backdoor guilt trip she led me on.  I'm sorry you had an accident but count your blessing that you can still walk.  Some people can't.

IX. If Divorced, Investigate
I dated a girl in late 2002 who was a hot, older woman. She was much more mature--three kids, divorced--but we worked well together. I was with an older, mature woman and she was dating a teenager. Then something happened after we slept together. She disappeared. I wasn't able to get ahold of her and she never called me. I found out that she was still married. Now, marriage is sacred to me so I was an innocent victim but the lesson here is that if your girlfriend says she's divorced I would make sure. Although I'm not really sure how.

VIII. Don't Date Coworkers
I need to follow my own advice here because all of my girlfriends have been coworkers and all I can say is that coworkers are great for one-night stands and friends with benefits but I wouldn't recommend dating them. Enough said.

VII. If They Have More Issues Than the New York Times, Stay Away
The Times has been published everyday since 1851 and I know people have problems but if little things that happens to them causes them to break out into a panic then something needs to be done. I'm a good listener but if your life could fill plotlines on Dawson's Creek, The O.C. and One Tree Hill then I would rather just watch those shows.

VI. Once a Slut, Always a Slut
Sure they can always say that they can change and maybe some of them do but not in my reality. Once a girl is labeled a slut, to me that label remains there until I deem it suitable to have it removed. Now what qualifies someone to be a slut? It varies depending on the person. Sleeping with nine people but not remembering two of their names counts as does having three different guys as contender for your baby's father. But remember: a whore does it for money or power while a slut does it just to do it so let's give credit where it's due.

V. Being On Jerry Springer Is Not a Goal
I dated a girl who said that this was a goal for her family. Yes, they were marvelously screwed up but since I'm somewhat normal I kind of wanted to stay away from possibly being invited on the wacked-out talk show. Other girlfriends said it would be cool so I had to quickly talk them out of it because I didn't want to find out they were my half-sister or something...

IV. If They Say They Are Crazy, They Probably Are
A girlfriend broke up with me because she said she was crazy. I've had two girlfriends break up with me because they were crazy and in retrospect they might have been but the next time a girl dumps me when she's crying and saying "I'm crazy. You should get away from me" I will.

III. Be Weary When They Say "I Love You"
I've had three girls tell me they love me. One girl I have no idea of her whereabouts, another is happily married to someone else and the other isn't speaking to me and said she hates me. Maybe I just have a more solid definition of love. It's to the point now where if a girl would say "I love you" to me, I'd repsond with a "Who's the 'you' in that sentence?" they'd respond "You, silly" and I would turn and look over my shouldar, still confused as to who they were talking about.

II. Don't Date a Girl Who Already Has a Boyfriend
You'd think this would be common knowledge and I have no one to blame but myself. Someone had to get hurt and I'm glad it was me. I can take the heartache and disappointment and lock it up inside me where it will further irritate my ulcer. I learned a lot from that relationship that helped me later on but what a price to pay.

I. Never Date a Girl Whose Best Friend Is Male
This one is essentially responsible for destroying my last relationship. I know it sounds kind of silly but it's true. To me it just seemed like they were too friendly and although I trusted her, it was him I had little trust for. And just to prove how platonic their friendship was, she moved out-of-state and in with him.  By the way, they are now getting married.

So that's my top ten list. Maybe it's just me and I don't attract and/or fall for the high quality girls but still you can't deny that I've had extreme bad luck in the girlfriend department. Whether it's my fault, their fault or a combination or some other factor, hopefully I will be able to follow my own advice in the future.
 

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