The Sweet Up and Down

Cameran really seems to enjoy his new school. He had to move from Sunflower in the southwest part of town to Sunset Hill in the central part because I have residential custody of him. When we actually move into the new house, we'll be closer to school and I plan to walk him there instead of drive so that may be an adventure.

He went to Sunflower for one day before they ordered him out and to Sunset. So while Cameran had to get readjusted, he seemed to do it rather quickly, which I knew he would because he's had to readjust a lot in his short life and kids that age are so resiliant. Oh to be six again.

I'm debating on whether I should volunteer for stuff since I am closer to the school but I don't know. I think I'll wait and see what all they have coming up and see what peaks my interest. I went to parent's night about a week ago and they had a sign-up sheet for all the stuff that's coming up and if you are going to bring anything or volunteer. I'm sorry but I don't want to commit myself to something that's not happening until November. I want to be involved but my laziness tends to try to override anything I try to do. And that's fine for some things but I sometimes feel bad for working and sleeping all day.

I know that if I volunteer there's no way in hell I'm gonna get my name on the marquee sign as Volunteer of the Month but maybe there's a kind of "We Got 'Im" honorable mention or something that's more my speed. I have plenty of time to figure out what to do.

For the last--over a month--I've been living in Topeka with my fiancee Audrey. I've never really liked Topeka because for a capital city it seems really dirty and crime-ridden (and I'm not talking the politicians). Well, it's true. There's been like seven murders in seven months in Topeka and probably other stuff that I don't really keep tabs on because I don't want it to scare me. Audrey lives in a really decent neighborhood so I didn't fear for my life while I was there but we're anxious to move in together here in Lawrence. While I was in Topeka, I missed Lawrence a lot because I know Lawrence and it knows me. Although what canceled out my pseudo-hatred of Topeka was being with Audrey constantly. I was able however to be a part of the crime statistic in Topeka as my car was vandalized. When I went to get my tags renewed I discovered that someone had ripped off a quarter of my license plate. All they got was the last number but they also got the month and year on the plate and badly damaged the rest of the plate. I was mad because I loved that plate and I don't like the new ones Kansas has.

The commute to work in Lawrence from Topeka was a pain on my gas tank especially when gas prices hovered around $4.00 earlier in the summer. I didn't mind the driving because I like to drive but I didn't like leaving at 2:30 and the drive back after work was excrutiating because I just wanted to get back home to Audrey. But that's over now and within the next month, Audrey and I should be living together. While in Topeka I was pretty much incommunicado because while Audrey did have Internet, I rarely used it and it didn't work with my computer (although it could've). I used her computer mainly for email and social network checking but not much else. I tried updating my Born Loser blog but in late July I kind of let that go. My online writing became scarce and I worried that I would have trouble getting back into the groove of blogging.

I was right. I was able to figure out what to do with my new website but wasn't able to post anything because it's based on writing and other things I could really only do at home. Hopefully I can start getting it updated and get some people reading it like people do my Born Loser blog (which is moving over to my new website on August 15th). I finally feel I can start writing on it now so maybe writing this entry will get the juices flowing.

In other news, Crystal and I have finally worked out an agreement on custody for Cameran. We got it all done Tuesday morning and hopefully a judge will sign the parenting plan before the end of the week. Basically it says, I am the custodial parent, she gets him every other weekend during the school year, Christmas, Mother's Day and alternating birthdays and Spring Breaks. Plus June and July. I get him during the school year, Thanksgiving, Father's Day, one weekend of my choice in July and alternating birthdays and Spring Break. We split winter break and any thing else we have talk over and agree upon. There were also other things in there saying that both parents have to know where Cameran is at all times. Hopefully this will make everything easier in the long run especially when Audrey is permanently in the picture.

Until next time, I remain...
~Brian

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Cameran is going to be a brother.

No, it's nothing like that. Crystal's the one knocked up again. And I can guarantee that this one is not mine. It took almost six years but Crystal finally got pregnant again which was something I thought would've happened several years ago. I'm not sure who the father is but I'm guessing it's either David, her off-and-on boyfriend in Butler, Missouri; Randy, her ex-boyfriend in Fulton, Missouri; a couple random guys in Nevada, Missouri or this trucker she travelled with from Nevada. So instead of three like last time, I believe she now has about five candidates for this one's father.

For those of you who know her or have heard me complain about her you know that she's not exactly in the top ten for Mom of the Year. She has admitted that she can't take care of Cameran, she has admitted that she can't take care of herself and now she's going to be responsible for another child who's father will probably not be as awesome as me.

Now I like sex as much as the next person and try to have it as often as possible. I had sex this past weekend actually and if you take the standard precautions then it is rather difficult to get pregnant. I don't believe that the condom fell off or that it broke I actually think that they didn't even bother wearing one or she purposely got pregnant because she knows she has lost Cameran. So yet another Elder will be mooching off the state of Missouri. It's time for Missouri to go on lockdown--no one goes in, no one comes out. It's every Missourian for themselves.

What I'm not looking forward to is hearing about Crystal constantly talk about it. For some reason she feels like she has to reveal every aspect of her life to us and I don't care. Mom tells me I should at least fake it but then Crystal will just tell me more so I'm not going to fake it. The kid's not mine so I don't have to care for it or about it. Hopefully she'll spell this one's name right.

Until next time, I remain...
~Brian

Well, it snowed. About 15 hours after it was a nice 60 degrees, it snowed like six inches. Which is fine because Cameran didn't have school so I didn't have to get out and drive across town in the snow on my spare tire. Although I did have to take the trash out this morning and that was not fun because it was windy and still snowing. But after that was done I was able to go back to bed and sleep, uninterrupted, for a few more hours.

I did shovel the patio and sidewalk so I at least got something done. Then Cameran and I played outside throwing snow and poorly-made snowballs at each other. Brushing the snow off my car so it's ready for tomorrow when I will have to get out and take Cameran to school. But it's been a good day and it's going to end as a good week in what is turning out as a good month.

Until next time, I remain...
~Brian

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If I ever became a teacher I would want to teach third grade. I figure that's the age where they can still be silly and it's cute but they're smart enough not to need someone to hold their hand. I actually enjoyed third grade the most but Kindergarten and fifth grade were pretty cool. No offense to the other grades but those three grades were just a little bit better for one reason or another.

Anyway, I went to school with Cameran today just to observe and see what goes on in a Kindergarten class these days. Since it was Lawrence's short day, it was a pretty simple morning. We all went to library, read The Hat by Jan Brett about a hedgehog who gets a stocking stuck to his prickles. Then the kids acted out the book in a pseudo-quasi play. They all picked out new library books, Cameran got The Hallo-Weinie by Dav Pilkey. Back in class, the kids did a matching rhyming game then cut out paper and matched a rhyme with the main picture then they all got ready for gym.

The gym teacher actually taught gym when I was in fifth grade at Sunflower back in 1994-95 so I'm sure that made him feel old. The kids played some game where these plastic tubes were in a "bank" and you had to steal them. If you were tagged you went to prison and could only be rescued if a teammate pulled you out. Sadly, the game had a moral: all of the kids focused on protecting and stealing the tubes that a lot of teammates were in prison but how can you protect and steal the tubes if all of your friends are in prison? Deep, deep thoughts.

I've never really wanted to be a teacher although I've always thought they should get paid a lot more, schools should be given a lot more money and our entire education system needs an overhaul. In a perfect world, college would only be needed if you were going into a specialized field (medical, law, engineering) and everything else could be learned in public school but sadly, we feel that George Clooney and Tom Brady are more important and worth more than our own children and their future.

Gotta love our priorities as a society.

Until next time, I remain...
~Brian

I need to try to limit my Internet usage. I spend too much time just goofing around. It's very sad. I have a novel, a superhero short story, chapter two of a serial and blog to write. I've left the addiction of MySpace for the addiction of Facebook but luckily I don't actually have to do anything on Facebook. Everything I would update on a regular basis can be automatically done. I also did something very drastic: I deleted my blogs on MySpace. I made a record of them and deleted them because out of the 78 only about 25 were viable reading material and the rest needed to be extinquished. Plus I'm tired of being haunted by my idiocy.

Cameran, who is five, is currently bragging to me that his writing is better. I brought up that I wrote a book. Apparently he has to. 150,000 pages of brilliance that he threw away because he thought it was dumb. His next book had 150,850 pages and, yes, he threw that away too. I don't know if I want Cameran to get into writing because as much as it'd be kind of cool having a son follow in my footsteps, I feel he's much better for the theatre. He has quite the personality, originality and, for lack of a better word, moxie to pull off being a very good actor. If he does become a famous actor maybe he can either change his name to the correct spelling of 'Cameron' or make the incorrect 'Cameran' spelling the norm.

Slylock Fixed Comics Not For Kids
I love Pearls Before Swine. This comic made me laugh out loud this last Sunday because I used to read Slylock Fox in the Kansas City paper and see it constantly mocked in The Comics Curmudgeon. The reference to Jerry Scott is a nod to the co-creator of Baby Blues and Zits. I love the question about which comic was around when Hitler invaded Poland.

Until next time, I remain...
~Brian

Back in November, my son's mom, Crystal, moved to Minneapolis, Minnesota and left Cameran in my custody. She lasted there about a month before she missed Cameran and came running back here. She moved in with some friend down in Nevada, Missouri and the last time she saw Cameran was around Christmas. She's been trying since then to drive up and see him for a weekend but she has very limited funds so that's not as possible as I know she would want it. I really don't care. I know how hard it is when a parent is not able to see their child. I went through four and a half months of Crystal purposely hiding Cameran from me during the Unpleasantness. And we're not keeping him from her, this is all her doing.

There's a small part of me that does want to help Crystal. She's tried to create a better life for herself and Cameran but there's also the Bitch Factor. The Unpleasantness has essentially erased every last caring factor I had in my body for her and was relieved when she said she was leaving for Minnesota and leaving Cameran with us. It's a perverse pleasure but if you really knew Crystal, you would completely understand.

Honestly, I haven't missed talking to her or seeing her. It's been a good couple of months.

Until next time, I remain...
~Brian

 *Sigh*  I think Wal-Mart is another thing that's the devil.  But I shop there.  I tend to buy stuff that you can get anywhere and groceries I'd rather get at a grocery store.  I'm sorry but if I can save 75 cents on Head & Shoulders then I'm gonna buy it at Wal-Mart.  A second Wal-Mart has just been approved by the city and I'll admit that Lawrence doesn't need a second Wal-Mart, especially at the location chosen.  I believe it all came down to the "rich" people in that area of town didn't want "poor" people from other parts of town to overrun their neighborhoods.  They tried to use arguments of Wal-Mart is evil, traffic problems and Lawrence not really needing one.  All arguments were shot down because...well, Wal-Mart is evil.  I probably won't shop there as much because it's supposed to be smaller and the huge Wal-Mart we have now doesn't stock everything I need.  I don't think this'll hurt Lawrence but what probably will happen is that the city will continue to grow south and west warranting a bigger Wal-Mart at that site (or another) in the next 10 years and the new one will have to be expanded, which the city was vehemently against, or another new one will have to be built further northwest.  The city should've suggested my idea of a small Toys R Us, Red Lobster, Popeye's Chicken and another Schlotzsky's.  I also thought of putting in a Hooter's but figured that wouldn't go over too well since there's a high school right across the street.

Every morning (every...damn...morning) when I take Cameran to school, I see this woman there with her three kids.  Two of them go to school and the third looks like he'll be starting next year.  Anyway, this woman is hot.  And not your normal hot.  This is your "mature woman hot".  She always smiles at me when we meet and we actually did talk to one another when Cameran's class went to the pumpkin patch.  I'd ask her out but 1)I think she's married...she's wears a ring on her finger about 75% of the time; 2)I learned my lesson about asking women out at Cameran's school (remind me to tell you).  With three kids she would have to be married or in a long-term relationship especially to afford her designer leather coat because I don't think she has a job.  I'll investigate this more.  Her son's in Cameran's class so maybe I could use him...lure him into my car with candy so I can talk about his mom.  What are the police doing outside?

I failed all of my New Year's resolutions within three hours.  Three hours.  I usually make it to March before I resort back to the Brian you all know and love.  Maybe next year will be better or maybe I'll just quit making them.  Either way, I'm happy with myself so that's all that matters.

Until next time, I remain...
~Brian

 My son, Cameran, is learning about bullying in school because apparently it's mandated by the Senate or something like that. Kansas Senate Bill 68 requires district school boards to adopt policies prohibiting bullying on school property, in a school vehicle or at a school-sponsored activity. This bill also requires each school district to adopt and implement a strategic plan to address bullying, including provisions for training and educating staff and students. That's fine. Wish they had something like that when I was in school. But look at where my bullies are now: dead! I was talking with Cameran about it and he had a simple solution to the bullying problem. Kick them in the balls and use a knife to cut them off. They won't be bullying anyone again. I don't know where he got it but you have to admit that they wouldn't be bullying anyone after that. ~Brian