The Sweet Up and Down

I had a two-part dream last night. I don't understand it but that's nothing new. It started out with my cheapskate of a landlord selling my house to someone new. I really wasn't all that thrilled about having a new landlord but my attitude changed when I found out who it was. Kansas University's basketball coach Bill Self. Yeah, I don't get it either.

I'm not a sports fan so I don't know why I'm dreaming about Coach Bill Self. Turns out Coach Self, in my dream, is a douchebag. He raised our rent $200 and wouldn't come fix anything. Then one day, this Korean man and wife came to our door wanting to buy a car from Coach Self and wanted to know where he lived. I drove them to a small neighborhood near 31st and Kasold despite the fact I know Coach Self lives near The Yankee Tank on the west side of town. With me standing there, Coach Self gave the kind Korean man a very good deal on a 2006 Mercedes. Everything seemed all nicely wrapped up in a neat little package.

Until part two...

On a stormy night, I was busy throwing pots and pans under leaks Coach Self refused to have fixed, or reimburse us for fixing when the nice Korean man came back and was complaining that Self raised the price of the car $1,000 over Blue Book value. I had finally had enough of the Coach Bill Self and his National Champion douchebaggery and drove back to his place and complained. For some reason, Coach Self was getting ready for Christmas and was dressed like Santa Claus which made it hard to yell and be mad at him. He gave me a candy cane. It was really fun watching the Korean man tear into Bill Self dressed as Santa Claus. I awoke to the phone ringing so didn't find out if the Korean man got the car but I honestly don't know if I'd really want to find out.

I'm pretty sure Bill Self is one of the nicest guys in collegiate sports because on TV he seems a lot more approachable than a lot of the others so I have nothing against him. I'm just saying Bill Self may be a bad landlord.

Until next time, I remain...
~Brian